MICHAEL – 70s+; There are times when he appears to be totally "with it,"
but often wanders off into worlds of fantasy. Very elderly, somewhat
infirm, and might best be described as "An old man with a twinkle in his
eye."
SUSAN – 70s+; hard working; efficient; competent; gentle and
caring to Michael. Spry and active, she appears to run The Cider Mill
Inn, and is the driving force behind the "con jobs" she and Michael pull
on their unsuspecting guests. She consistently forgets Michael's name,
and engages him in hilarious conversations in which she and Michael are
rarely "on the same page." Her attitude toward Michael, and the love and
rapport they clearly share is central to the core of the plot. Whether
her secret is, in fact, revealed at the end of the play is something
about which the authors remain silent, preferring to let the audience be
the judge.
JEAN - 35-55; forceful; purposeful; single-minded. While
Jean is an interfering "busybody," her heart is in the right place.
When she intervenes in the marital problems of Bobby and Jenny, it is
out of genuine concern for them. She totally dominates her mild mannered
husband Larry, and we are left with the impression she dominates
everything and everyone around her. Things have to be done "Her Way!"
LARRY
- 40-60; long-suffering; hard-working; a devilish sense of humor. A
mild mannered, easy-going sort of guy, who has learned, over the years,
to just go along with Jean and not make any waves. However, when Jean
gets herself into a situation from which she cannot escape, he does not
attempt to extricate her, but rather, in a kindly sort of way, sits back
and seems to enjoy a laugh at their expense. Perhaps, in his life with
Jean, there have been too few opportunities to do this.
BOBBY -
25-30; clean cut; hard working; easy-going. A pleasant young man, who
gets caught up in the emotional ups and downs of his new bride, Jenny.
He acquiesces, perhaps a little too easily, to the fact that he has been
conned by Michael and Susan, but that is probably his nature. Clearly
very much in love with Jenny, he is willing to apologize when he has no
idea what it is he is supposed to have done.
JENNY - 20-25; immature;
naive, but in the end showing a good sense of humor. Young and pretty,
but perhaps not too bright. She works herself into an emotional upheaval
for the most trivial of reasons. Anyone, other than her gentle,
easy-going husband, would probably feel like smacking her. To be kind,
she is is very young and on her honeymoon, and who knows what is going
on in her mind.
BILL - 40-60; Bill is a suave, sophisticated man
about town. He is a reviewer for a publication. Country Inns of America,
visiting The Cider Mill Inn incognito. While married, he has ararnged a
weekend tryst with his girlfriend Julie. He discovers that Michael and
Susan are simply con artists and is prepared to expose them, but ethics
are not his strong suit, and he compromises his principles to keep his
affair secret. A polished, well-dressed, educated adulterer.
JEFFREY -
25-30; sincere; lives in his own world. If there was an award for "The
Most Boring Man on the Planet," Jeffrey would win hands down. When his
long suffering wife, Penny, says he's had charisma bypass surgery, we
could easily believe her. He goes on and on about the stupidest subjects
imaginable, blissfully unaware that he is driving everyone around him
crazy. He is so boring that audiences almost like him.
PENNY -
20-30; pretty; clearly enjoys life; funny; flighty; giggly. Penny seems
to be driven to drink by her boring husband Jeffrey. She must never
appear to be drunk or her sparkling wit and terrific sense of humor will
be lost. A little tipsy, most of the time, she brings lightheartedness
and laughter into the scenes with Jeffrey, to counterbalance his boring
personality.
JULIE - 35-45; beautiful; sensuous; single-minded.
Julie has a libido that never lets up. She leaves the audience in no
doubt as to why she is at the inn for the weekend. She is, however,
sophisticated, not cheap or tawdry.
KELLY - 20-30; clever,
manipulative, quick-thinking. Kelly is clearly the dominant one in her
relationship with Paul. She has concocted the scheme for Paul to pose as
his brother Patrick so they can get the tradesman's discount. She next
comes up with the idea for him to then become her girlfriend "Pauline."
She is a schemer who never gives up, constantly creating explanations
for the most improbable circumstances.
PAUL - 25-30; not very
forceful; eager to please Kelly. Paul is clearly under the influence of
his girl-friend Kelly. She seems to be able to persuade him to do almost
anything. Much against his better judgement she has him weave a
tapestry of lies and deceit. He never really gets "with the program" as
he alternates between the characters of Paul, his brother Patrick, and
Kelly's girlfriend Pauline.
MURRAY - 40-60; kind; sincere;
adventuresome. Murray is a very unusual clergyman. He almost belongs in
the "Hippie" generation. He arrives on a Harley wearing black leather,
and using expressions like "rock on." He is, nevertheless, a genuine
pastor with concern and kindness for those around him, and shows great
understanding and compassion for "Pauline", whom he believes (thanks to
Kelly's manipulations) is a painfully shy claustrophobic.
BERTHA -
40-50; loud; domineering; aggressive. Michael's sister is referred to by
him as "Boot Camp Bertha." A retired army officer, she certainly lives
up to that name. She is a strong comedic character, who seems to
dominate the stage whenever she appears. However, prompted by Murray,
she finally shows a gentler, more human side to her nature.